Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas...
When you think of Las Vegas, what comes to mind? I bet its this long stretch of road bathed in light from the numerous LED displays. You're bouncing around from bar to bar, casino to casino like a pinball in a giant arcade game. Hundreds, if not thousands of people letting loose as they are pumped up on drinks and high on endorphins among other substances. The great Sin City where bad things seem good and good things seem shady. A place to have the greatest time of your life with no rules, no boundaries— nothing but pure unrestricted fun because "Whatever happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas."
For me, Las Vegas was a place to escape. A place where I can get lost in a sea of new experiences and start over — become a new, better me.
I spent a vast majority of my life living in SoCal. I'd pinpoint a city, but I've moved more times than I can keep track of. The ocean is my oasis so living somewhere that was a short driving distance to the beach was important. SoCal would be anyones happy place, right? Unfortunately for me, even the most amazing place can hold too many painful memories. I'd had my heart broken for the last time and I didn't need a reminder everywhere I went. So I packed my bags, loaded up my car and put in a transfer to the first place that came to mind: Las Vegas.
I'm not entirely sure why I picked Las Vegas of all places. Maybe because its vastly different than what I'm used to? I guess I just figured it was far enough away from "home" to experience a change, but close enough to where I could drive back for a quick visit when I need. I didn't think about it this way at the time, but leaving California was a way to prove to myself that I COULD leave; that I wasn't really trapped like I so often believed. I've always wanted to travel — and I'm lucky enough to have been able to travel quite a bit but I mean REALLY travel and experience the world. But I always used the greatness of California as an excuse. It was my comfort bubble and I wasn't sure I could bring myself to burst it.
Now, you've read this far and you read the word "heartbreak" above and your probably wondering what thats all about, right? Well...its true. I was heartbroken and it sent me over the edge to where all I wanted to do was get. the fuck. out. I wasn't heartbroken in the traditional sense though. Yes, I fell for a boy who ended up turning my world on its side but there were so many other factors. Family. Friends. Career. I felt let down and I wanted to make it all disappear.
What I later realized is that what I needed was time. Time to heal. Time to change my perspective. Time to adjust. I was looking for an immediate solution but, let me tell you, it wasn't the solution I was looking for.
I'm almost 10 months in and to be honest, I've grown so much but not for the reason you would think. First of all, for a person like me —calm, shy, partly introverted— Las Vegas isn't really the best place to escape to. For a person like me, this is more of a place to be isolated. Which is what I have; Isolation.
I moved here knowing 2 people who I considered to be my closest friends would be here. One of them I have known since I was fresh out of high school, the other is now his fiancé and we became friends shortly after they started dating. I wanted to get away from everything I was facing in California, but i didn't want to be completely alone so this seemed like the perfect getaway. I later realized something that keeps people close is distance. This is one of those instances. It is what it is. Im sure you'll learn more about them later.
My time in Vegas has been... enlightening and now I'm ready to move on. Now I just have to figure out where I want to go next. The possibilities are endless... yet I have no fucking clue where I want to go. Any and all suggestions welcomed. Seriously.
Ya live, ya learn, and you get the fuck out of Vegas.
This entry turned out to not be about what I initially intended. Kinda went off on a rant there. But that's what you guys came for, isn't it?! ;)
#rant
—DC
